Query Hell

Status: I spent two days updating my ever so official Agent Spreadsheet. It now holds 34 agents from 34 different literary agencies.

Number of agents queried: 9
Number of form rejections: 3
Number of requests for additional materials: 0

There is nothing in this world more stressful to me than sending my query letter to agents. Nothing. Every time I get a new email, my heart stops and I feel like I'm about to have a panic attack. Then I look at what it is, and frequently end up cursing Groupon to the fiery pits of hell.

And I haven't slept in days. I actually had three different people ask me yesterday what was wrong with my eyes, because they were scary bloodshot. Then I had to explain that I wake up about 20 times a night with the overwhelming need to check my email. Why, you ask, do I think it's plausible that I'll receive a reply from an agent at 3 o'clock in the morning? Well, the very first form rejection I ever got, back with the previously mentioned beloved book #3, came at something like 1 AM. I realized then that these publishing people keep crazy hours.

At least I have an iPhone, so I don't have to get out of bed.