Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Puppy Shenanigans

In a bit of a departure from my regular posts, I would like to tell you the story of my morning. Because my dogs were acting like crazy critters, and I feel like sharing.

First, for some background, let me introduce you to my darling pups. I put them in the order that we adopted them, which is also (roughly) the order of their ages, oldest to youngest (we only know the exact birth date for pup #1).

Pup #1: Jujube
Pup #2: Dash
Pup #3: Indy
Pup #4: Shadow

Now that you've all met, on to the story. So I learned something new this morning: Indy and Shadow are terrified of the smoke detector. Now, before you start worrying that I, say, set my house on fire, let me assure you that this was a case of the battery getting low. So about once a minute, the smoke detector on the main floor would beep really loudly and an annoying voice would say, "Low battery." This started while I was in the shower, so when I got out, I opened the bathroom door to see what all the fuss was about. Indy and Shadow immediately ran into the bathroom (they usually avoid the bathroom, as it is the scary, horrifying place where the hated baths take place!), and went as far in as they could. Which means they were right by the hated tub. 

*BEEP!* Low battery. 

*BEEP!* Low battery. 

Every time it happened, they freaked out, and looked around like the frickin' grim reaper was after them or something. When I finally got them to leave the bathroom (quite a chore...I swear, at one point, Indy reared up like a spooked horse), I opened the bedroom door. At which point, Indy and Shadow rushed to hide under the bed. In Indy's case, this makes sense. He's tiny. But Shadow? He's not exactly a small dog. Nonetheless, he was somehow completely under the bed, about a foot and a half from the edge. 

*BEEP!* Low battery. 

*BEEP!* Low battery. 

Try as I might, I couldn't get the dogs to come out. We always shut the bedroom door when we're gone (it isn't one of the puppy safe rooms), so I had to get them to come out. The logical solution? Go downstairs and turn off the smoke detector. So I manage to twist it away from the ceiling and, after a couple of false starts, locate the battery compartment. I remove the battery with a triumphant grin, happy that I have made the fire alarm stop scaring the poor pups hiding under the bed. 


*BEEP!* No battery. 

*BEEP!* No battery. 

Stupid hard wired thing. So I tracked down a 9-Volt battery, managed to get the stupid thing in there (a couple more false starts...that smoke detector is really weird), and finally, at long last, silence. Victory!

Except the dogs were still hiding under the bed. And apparently, it became the place to be, because when I went back up to try to coax them out with treats, Jujube scurried under there and also refused to come out. Three crazy dogs hiding under the bed! Gah!

Like I said: treats. Lo and behold, treats are not a good enough motivation for Shadow or Jujube. Who knew? They stayed under the bed, staring at me with a "Yeah right!" look. Or maybe it was more of a, "Hells to the no!" look from Shadow, and a, "I have better things to do than make your life easy, Mommy," look from Jujube. (You don't know Jujube, but trust me when I say that's her general attitude.) Indy however...the second the treat came into view, his eyes lit up. And after about 10 seconds of indecision, he army crawled his way to the edge, sticking his head out just enough for me to hand him the treat. Unfortunately for him, that was also just enough for me to grab him and pull him out. Yay! One down! I put him in the hall and shut the door.

I decided Jujube was my next best bet, because she wasn't completely under the bed (her tail was sticking out). So since words and treats weren't working, I grabbed and pulled. There was a bit of a scramble of front paws, but alas, she has no thumbs and couldn't grab hold of anything. Two dogs down. And while this scramble was going on, I'm pretty sure Shadow's thought process was something along the lines of, "Oh, shit...she just pulled both of them out. Is she going to do that to me!?" And by the time I'd gotten Jujube out, Shadow was waiting by the door.

Dash got an extra treat for being the only one not to make my morning difficult. And even with all this, I still made it to work 10 minutes early. Ooh yeah.  :)

Thursday, August 2, 2012

Life Is Short, So Go Kick Ass

So tomorrow is the three year anniversary of when I totaled my car. (You already know where I'm going with this, don't you? It's okay...I'll be brief. Well, as brief as I'm capable of being.)

Life is so freaking short. You never know what's going to happen. Even if you live to a ripe old age and die peacefully in your sleep at 105, life is still freaking short. I mean really? 105 years? Out of all of human (and pre-human) existence? Just a drop in the bucket. So why waste even an instant? I know so many people that say, "I've always wanted to write, but I just can't seem to find the time." Or a very good friend of mine who loves to paint and dance and do so many different things, who never seems to find the time for any of it. Or another friend who is stuck in a job she hates, and just can't seem to get out. 

So I say again: life is so freaking short! If you don't like what you're doing, do something else! I realize it's easier said than done, but it sure as hell isn't going to happen on its own. And if you have a dream, something you've wanted to do all your life, for the love of happiness, go do it! No time like the present. Yes, it'll take time. Yes, it'll take effort. Yes, it'll probably be hard. But God almighty, it'll be worth it in the end. Even if you don't succeed, you'll know you tried, and you'll know you tried your damnedest, and you can be damn proud of yourself and what you've done with your life. 

Here are a couple pictures of my car after the crash (and it was a single car spin out, so no one else was hurt at all): 

I would be lying my ass off if I said this crash didn't affect me. For one thing, I'm a much better driver! And for another, I know that I shouldn't waste any time. There are so, so many things that I want to do in my life. And for me, there's no time like the present. Why waste your time being miserable? Why waste your time wishing for something, but never trying to get it?

I have the mangled front license plate from this car hanging on the wall of my office (we never found the back plate...I think it ended up in a ditch with my antenna and some other random car parts). Some people probably think this is weird and/or morbid. But for me, it reminds me every time that I see it that I am so fucking alive and I have so much I can give this world. And damn it, I'm going to give it.

The only one who can make your dreams come true is you. Now get out there and kick some serious ass.